Spring is just about to arrive in Ohio any day now. My challenge for you no matter where you are is to pull that Schwinn from the back of your garage, dust it off, and pump up the tires. That’s right. You actually are going to be riding it. I am sure you are tired of friends’ remarks, “Oh, I didn’t know you rode a bike!” You no longer have to tell them, “Well, I actually haven’t ridden it for five years, but I plan on riding it soon.”
I could make up one of those lame top 10 reasons to ride a bike lists, but I know you know how to use Google. They are everywhere out there. Here’s the scoop. I am going to give you the real top 10 reasons to ride your bike. Enjoy!
The top 10 not so normal reasons to ride a bike
- The need for speed. It’s just not as cool to be walking the neighborhood or even more embarrassing on your community all-purpose trail. Groups of bicyclists who are just having a great time are constantly cycling by. Remember when you were a kid how cool it was to pedal as fast as you could and watch your handlebar streamers whip in the wind. That’s the ticket baby!
- How far can you go? Cycling gets you out of Dodge fast. That’s right, you can put many miles behind you on even a casual evening ride. More miles equal more scenery, more strange and interesting people, and more fun, fun, fun.
- It’s just sicker, dude. OK, it’s not a black Escalade, but your bike can be status symbol. Remember how cool Pee Wee Herman’s red Schwinn Phantom was (We’ll just kind of ignore Pee Wee.)? You can look even sicker with today’s colorful bikes, helmets and cycling outfits.
- Shed the fat, Jack. I know my body was tired of carrying my fat a** around. An hour of casual cycling burns about 300 calories. Up the speed and distance and you have a weight loss plan better than any infomercial can deliver.
- Turn on your significant other. Sex. Better sex. Caught your eyes, didn’t i? I can’t make any promises, but cycling gets your metabolism up and makes you more energetic. I’ll leave the details up to you, but you can report them back to me.
- Mosh pit or flash mob, the choice is yours. Walking, running or hiking with your iPod is just plain boring and anti-social. Looking to make friends and have a good time? Dive into the mosh pit with some roadies for a fast and furious time. Call some friends this Saturday morning for a casual flash mob on a local trail. A wide variety of social experiences await you whatever your choice.
- Guzzle less gas and make love to your wallet. Think about how much that trip to the grocery costs you. How about that daily commute? At today’s $4 a gallon, the cost adds up fast. Take your bike to the market or ride it once a week to work. It costs you nothing. Now put that cash in your Vegas Baby Fund.
- Go green (if you into that hippie stuff). Your bike is quite ecologically friendly. There are no emissions and it does not leave a carbon footprint. Bikes outlive cars, require less maintenance and use less raw materials.
- Shop till you drop, baby. It’s all in the accessories! Accessories can be both practical and stylish. Once you have that bike, you can make a grand statement by outfitting it to your personality. It could be glitz. I could be butch. It could be conservative. You make the call.
- Elvis, Abba and Mick Jaggar, you got the look. I bet you swore no one would ever see you in spandex. Spandex is comfortable and keeps your unmentionables from being chaffed and subject to other dangers. To hell with the fashion police, flaunt your rock star inner self in cycling shorts and jerseys.