Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd… Those words from the Sound of Music echo in our heads as we pass through the Alps on our way to Geneva. It’s Tom and Chuck coming to you from our totally fabricated trip across Switzerland. Over the next week you can follow us on what we hope is a believable Tour der Alps.

You may be asking, “Why are you guys on this bogus trip anyway?” We want your money. Honestly, we do! We decided to hold a Don’t Come to our Tour der Alps fundraiser to fight obesity that benefits the Akron Walk from Obesity, the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC) and the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Foundation (ASMBSF). Our Tour der Alps is a charitable opportunity for busy people like you, who like to support good causes but would rather not go to a lame, boring charity event.

The Akron Walk from Obesity is part of a nationwide network of charitable walks that raise awareness of the health, societal, and financial issues that obesity places on our community. Walkers include those who struggle with their weight, those who have sought treatment for obesity, family members and friends, healthcare professionals, physicians, organizations and many more.

The Obesity Action Coalition is a 501(c)3 non-profit with a mission to educate, advocate and support those whose lives are impacted by obesity. More than 93 million Americans are obese. The number is expected to reach 120 million in five years. This coalition educates patients, family members and the public about obesity and morbid obesity. Their work improves access to medical treatments for obese patients; advocates for safe and effective treatments; and strives to eliminate the negative stigma associated with all types of obesity.

The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to raising funds to help support obesity research and to increase professional and public awareness of bariatric surgery and its role in treating the devastating disease of morbid obesity.

Step 1:

Surf on over to and enter your email address in the box under Follow our Footsteps on the right side of the screen. We will send you daily updates from our imaginary but pretty-cool-you-must-admit tour for the next week, as well as, the $250,000,000 you won in that Nigerian Lottery. Each day will transport you on a stay-at-home vacation to the Alps. We look to share our personal perspectives about obesity, share some revealing facts, and offer advice on how you can join us in this fight.

Step 2:

Hand over the bucks! Yeah, this is a fundraiser, and we would appreciate your support. All donations are tax deductible. It’s easy to donate on-line by most credit cards. It’s painless. Plus, you don’t want to find your front yard turfed by some unknown bicyclist would you? Just saying, you know 😉

Obesity is no laughing matter, but fundraising can be. Seriously, follow us at Crossing Mountains and we promise that you will have an entertaining week while learning more about the burden obesity puts on our society. We thank you in advance for your generous support.

Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo!
Tom Bilcze & Chuck Gough
Lonely Cycling Goat Herders


This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. This superseder all previous notices.

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1 Comment

  1. Rick Calkins October 6, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Peanuts processed at this location. Gluten free. Let the buyer beware. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. No exit. No way out. Keep out of reach of children. Do not remove ticket under penalty of law. Low fat, low carb, low sugar, low iron, low sodium, low hangers. No smoking. Frame not included. Picture simulated. Water resistant. Water proof. Bridge freezes before road. Adult entertainment. Click agree. Alarm will sound. No running, or horseplay. Objects appear closer. Dry time 24 hrs. No MSG.


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